Deuce
by Jenvaati
Summary: Inspired by Chicken Yuki. A pair of childhood friends from Mineral Town go to Flower Bud Village for a change in lifestyle. ...So does that make Jamie a boy or a girl?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: You know I don't own Harvest Moon right? Great, that's settled!

This is my first parody, so I hope it goes alright...enjoy! And leave a review if you feel like it! The fun really starts in Chapter Two...

Okay…and this was inspired by Chicken Yuki's fics and comments about Jamie, especially when Jack asks IT what gender it is. Yeah sure, the story doesn't exactly relate to it, but it was still inspiration! So I did the next best thing…_two _Jamies…

Prologue: Names

A long, long time ago…in a village known as Mineral Town, two pairs of parents were deciding the names of their new children. The first pair of parents couldn't think of a name for a month, and by that time, the next pair had their baby. The second pair was also fairly indecisive.

The first pair invited the second pair to dinner to discuss their problem.

"You know," said Karen through a mouthful of spaghetti. "You guys waited a whole month."

"Chew and swallow, Karen…chew and swallow…" muttered Rick.

"That's it! Our kid should be named Guy!" exclaimed Elli.

"Guy? Isn't that a bit…" Doctor didn't know how to put it in words.

"What's wrong with it? Your name is Doctor," remarked Karen.

"I'd rather not have a child named Guy, that's all," said Doctor casually.

"At this rate we'll end up calling our kids 'it' for the rest of our lives," commented Rick.

"Don't worry, honey, our kid will be it, but theirs will be It II," said Karen.

"It II has a ring to it," said Doctor.

"Our kid would hate us forever if we did that," said Elli. "How about Jack?"

"Isn't that guy from the farm Jack?" asked Karen.

"I thought he was John…." said Rick.

"No, no, it was James," said Elli.

"I'm afraid you're all wrong. His name is Lipton," interrupted Doctor.

"Oh," chorused the other three.

Suddenly, Karen snapped her fingers. She quickly finished up her remaining spaghetti, and wiped her mouth daintily, making the others wait for her idea.

"Let's name ours, Rick, Dudette because she's a girl, and Elli, Doctor, name your kid Dude because he's a boy," said Karen.

"That's the worst idea I've ever heard!" protested Rick.

"No wait," said Elli. "That idea's just so bad…"

"…that it might just work!" finished Doctor.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter One: Exciting Ranch Plan

Dudette finished feeding the chickens, and ran to the hot springs for a nice, relaxing bath. Her long, straight brown hair was inherited from her mother, Karen. Unfortunately for her, she had bad eyesight thanks to her father, Rick. Her glasses were oval, unlike his. She also seemed to have his fashion sense, and wore green overalls.

After the bath, Dudette ran to her mother's shop to help out a bit. As always, her grandparents were running the shop, while her mother just helped out. Nothing ever changed in Mineral Town it seemed. Dudette got bored easily doing her daily routine, and desperately wanted a change in her life.

"Hey there, Dudette!" called Karen. Then she frowned. "What's up?"

"Nothing…I guess I'm just bored, mom…" answered Dudette.

"Say, why don't you take a break from working today? Maybe you'll feel better," said Karen.

"…sure," said Dudette dully. "See you later."

Dudette walked out of the general store dejectedly, and stopped by at the hospital where her best friend, Dude, worked.

Dude was making the only bed on the first floor of the hospital, while Doctor chilled at his desk. Elli was dozing off on the medicine counter.

Dudette walked over to Dude, her boredom still lingering. "Hi, Dude."

"Dudette? Shouldn't you be working now?" asked Dude. Dude had hair like his father's, and inherited his mother's eyes and smile. Dude wore a doctor's coat most of the time because he felt like it, but his blue shirt underneath said "DUDE" in large letters and he wore jeans.

"Mom let me out early," said Dudette. "Wanna go somewhere?"

"Wait a sec…Stu said that May said that Duke said that Doug said that Ann said that Cliff said that Carter said that Basil said that Mary said that my great grandmother was looking for you," said Dude.

"Couldn't you just say that in the beginning?" said Dudette, annoyed.

"No…because Stu said it first, and May heard him, and then Duke--" said Dude.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it," interrupted Dudette. "Are you going to come too?"

"'Course! I want to see what she wants too!" said Dude excitedly.

So Dude and Dudette walked two houses away to Ellen's house, and found Ellen inside on her rocking chair.

"Oh, you're here already! Dudette, hon, tell me what you think of this. I made this quite a while ago, but I forgot to give it to you," said Ellen, handing Dudette a package.

"Oh! What is it? Thanks so much!" said Dudette. Dudette quickly tore open the package to reveal a spring-green shirt with "DUDETTE" in large letters. A pair of jeans exactly Dudette's size were also included.

"I…I don't know what to say…I'm going to match with Dude," said Dudette slowly.

"Great Grandmother made mine too," said Dude.

"I'll change into it right away!" said Dudette, putting on a smile. At least this was different from her everyday routine!

When Dudette changed, she thanked Ellen and she and Dude left to Lipton's farm. They always went to Lipton's farm when they were bored or had a day off. Lipton always found time for them, even when he had work to do.

Lipton was fishing at the river of his farm when Dude and Dudette came. He looked up at the sound of their footsteps.

"Hello, Dude, Dudette!" Lipton turned around to get a better look of them, and was shocked at Dudette's change of clothing. "You…you match…"

"Yes, Grandmother Ellen gave it to me," said Dudette.

"Of course…" said Lipton, nodding.

"Did you catch anything yet, Lipton?" asked Dude.

"I haven't caught anything all day! This winter I haven't been doing much of anything. Fishing is the last resort for me," answered Lipton.

"You're bored, aren't you? I'm bored too," said Dudette.

"Do you two…want to farm?" asked Lipton suddenly.

"I've always wanted to farm!" piped up Dude. "You make it seem so easy."

Lipton chuckled. "What about you, Dudette?"

"I'd love to farm. It'd give me something to do! Wait…" worry seeped into Dudette's face. "You're not leaving or anything are you?"

Lipton laughed again. "Quite the opposite. You're leaving, if you agree to what I'm about to say. I found an ad in the newspaper for people wanting to give farming a try. There is a lot of land available at Flower Bud Village. What do you think?"

Dudette had stars in her eyes. "I think I've found my calling in life…"

"When can we go?" asked Dude.

"Next week, I think. That's when spring begins, so you can get a fresh start. You should do it before other farmers beat you to it. I'll show you the ad, if you come to my house now. It's the Exciting Ranch Plan," said Lipton.


	3. Chapter 3

Revised on May 18, 2006. I just changed around the Mayor's name. I thought it was Thomas, but now I'm thinking it was Theodore. I'm really confused, and much too lazy to actually check, though I played the game a few hours ago...heh...so I named him Thomas Theodore...

Chapter Two: Getting Settled

Dude and Dudette stepped into Flower Bud Village calmly, and then ran in, nodded their head for some reason, and continued on.

Soon, the mayor walked up to them and dropped confetti on them. "You're here for the Exciting Ranch Plan, right? I'm the mayor, Thomas Theodore," said Thomas the Mayor, who preferred to be called Theodore.

"The mayor at our hometown is also Thomas!" remarked Dudette.

"Really? Which town are you from?" asked Theodore.

"Mineral Town. Have you heard of it?" asked Dude.

"…yes. Yes, I believe I have. I think my cousin is mayor there, but I can't be too sure. I have many cousins, you see," said Theodore.

"He's shorter than you, if that helps," said Dudette.

"Ah, _that_ Thomas! I know who you're talking about now. I haven't talked to him in years!" exclaimed Theodore.

"That's not very nice," commented Dude.

"Well, I have had a lot to do lately…oh, I'm sorry, what are your names again?" asked Theodore.

"I'm Dude," said Dude.

"And I'm Dudette," said Dudette.

"Are those your real names?" asked Theodore without a hint of a smile.

"Yeah. I think our parents were disturbed, personally," said Dude.

"Maybe they were drunk," said Dudette.

"Your mother, probably. But when they told me the story, they said that they were eating spaghetti," said Dude.

"Oh, right," said Dudette.

"Ahem," coughed Theodore. Dude and Dudette jumped. "You have to pick where you'd like to live. You can live near the river, which is a medium sized lot and very fertile land, or you can live in the village, which is convenient but very small. Oceanside would be your last choice. That land is not very fertile, but spacious."

"I want to live by the river," said Dude hastily.

"Oceanside's for me," said Dudette.

"Good, now what would you like to name your farm?" asked Theodore.

"Hmm…that's a hard one," said Dude.

"I'll name mine…Dudette," said Dudette.

Theodore nodded, and grinned. "That's a good name. And you, Dude?"

"…Dude," said Dude.

"Wonderful names!" said Theodore, throwing more confetti on them.

After that, Dude and Dudette were shown to their homes, and they decided to rest for the rest of the day after moving around their furniture.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: Oh yes, I forgot to mention...I just realized that I messed up and posted chapter one twice. Wow, I suck...I meant to post that in a seperate chapter after the prologue, but the way I wrote the original story screwed it all up...

-I wrote this when I revised the last chapter, but I'll say this again…I _think_ I made a mistake with the mayor's name, so I'm just calling him Thomas Theodore-who prefers to be called Theodore- because I am honestly not sure if his name is Theodore or Thomas…

-Yeah, and before I posted up _this_ chapter, I realized I miscounted, and wrote this as chapter four…haha, that is kind of sad…I lost count after two!

This one's short, so I'll try and have another one up within two days…

Chapter Three: Weird Dream

At the harvest goddess spring, the harvest goddess was complaining how everyone forgot her.

"You'd think that, after all those harvests, the _least_ people could do is have a festival honoring me! And what's up with the flower festival? It used to be about _me_, not _flowers!_" said the Harvest goddess.

"Are you okay?" asked the red sprite.

"You're usually very calm…" commented the yellow sprite.

"Aren't you being a bit harsh?" asked the third sprite.

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not…" said the harvest goddess stubbornly.

"But, what are you going to do about it?" asked the third sprite.

"I'm going to turn to stone!" said the harvest goddess.

The sprites sweated nervously.

"How's that going to help?" asked the yellow sprite.

"People will remember me when their harvests fail," said the harvest goddess.

"That does make sense…" said the red sprite.

"But it won't happen, yeah, because we sprites will make sure that the people will harvest!" said the third sprite.

"Yeah, because they can't die!" said the red sprite.

"True, true…if they die of starvation, then they won't remember me at all," said the harvest goddess.

"It's okay, yeah, you can turn to stone. We hid a hundred notes to a song that would wake anyone up from stone, in case you would suggest it, yeah," said the yellow sprite.

"That's why I hang out with you…" said the harvest goddess fondly. Then she slowly turned to stone.

Two people with purple hair ran up to the now stoned harvest goddess.

"What happened?" asked one.

"No, we have to help her!" said the other.

"But how should we do that?" asked one.

"We'll manage," said the other.

"This is all because of other people," said one.

"Yeah. I don't like people," said the other.


	5. Chapter 5

Yes, I lied...I said that I would update within two days of my last chapter, but I didn't. The best part is that I'm not the least bit guilty!

The next chapter is the grand entrance of Jamie (s)!

Hope you enjoy! And I'm pretty sure that I fixed most of my mistakes from the previous chapters…

Chapter Four: Shipping

"That was a weird dream…" said Dude and Dudette in their respective houses.

_Dudette's morning:_

Dudette left her house after watching TV, and sure enough, Bob the shipper was waiting outside.

"You look familiar. By any chance do you know someone by the name of Zack?" asked Dudette.

"Zack? He's my long lost big brother! He ran away ages ago!" said Bob.

"He's at Mineral Town. I can give you his address if you want," said Dudette.

"I'll have to tell Tai and Tim right away…oh, by the way, I'm Bob, and I ship things," said Bob. "You have to put stuff in that box, and you'll get money for it. That there is where lumber goes when you chop wood." Bob began to explain the basics.

Dudette nodded. "Yuh-huh, yeah, sure. Okay. So, I'm Dudette. Here's Zack's address…" Dudette wrote on a small slip of paper and handed it to Bob.

"Thanks! I'll remember this Dudette!" said Bob, not even blinking at her name.

"My friend Dude knows more about Zack, if you have other questions," said Dudette.

"Got it. Thanks again," said Bob, leaving.

Dudette blinked, and left her house, stunned at the resemblance of Bob and Zack. Then she entered the house nearest her, Woody's Work Shop.

Woody walked over to her, and Dudette explained that she came because of the Exciting Ranch Plan. Then Woody yelled for his apprentices to come.

"Hi, I'm Joe!" said Joe, the one with the star bandana.

"…I'm Kurt. What's up?" said Kurt.

"Hello. I'm Dudette," said Dudette.

"I…sorry?" said Kurt. "What?"

"I'm Dudette," said Dudette.

"You're kidding," said Kurt.

"Kurt, chill…it's a name," said Joe.

Kurt sighed. "…sorry. Hn, wonder how long you can last as a farmer."

"Me too. I never pictured myself as a farmer. So what do all of you do again?" asked Dudette.

"We're carpenters. We make houses, furniture, all that kind of stuff," said Woody.

Dudette nodded, and smiled. "I should get going now, nice meeting all of you!"

"Bye!" said Joe.

"Later," said Woody.

"See ya, Du-du,du…" said Kurt.

"Dudette, Kurt. Say it with me. Du,dette," said Joe.

"Du….de….du…dette…." said Kurt.

"Inhale, exhale…once more…" said Joe.

"…Dudette. See ya, Dudette…thanks, Joe," said Kurt.

"What are brothers for?" said Joe, grinning.

"I should be offended…but…bye…" said Dudette, waving and leaving.

_Dude's Morning:_

When Dude finished watching TV, he stepped out, and sure enough, there was Bob! Bob came and shot dozens of questions regarding Zack at him. Dude was completely tired out when Bob was finally satisfied and explained the shipping box and lumber deal to him.

"Bye Bob…" said Dude, yawning.

"Thanks a bunch, Dude!" said Bob.

Dude waved, and then headed for the house nearest his. But before he could do so, a girl stopped by with a puppy.

"Hey! I'm Ellen. I think this puppy would be happier at your farm, don't you? I would give one to the other farmer that moved in, but I only have one dog…" said Ellen, giving Dude a friendly smile.

"I'm Dude, and I'm sure that the dog will be happy here!" said Dude.

"Wow, you're a nice dude…I mean, er…sorry…my tongue slipped, hee hee…" Ellen giggled nervously.

"Don't worry about it," said Dude.

"Are you going to name the dog?" asked Ellen.

"Yeah…it can be…Dude," said Dude.

"Shouldn't you name it something different?" asked Ellen. "Perhaps maybe for variety?"

"Why?" asked Dude.

"…it sounds kinda weird," said Ellen.

"Fine, I'll name him Banana," said Dude.

Ellen rolled her eyes. "Have fun here, Banana."

Banana barked.

Then, Ellen waved. "I have to go now. Take good care of Banana!"

"I will! Take care yourself!" said Dude.

When Ellen left, Dude went to the closest house there was…which happened to be Blue Sky Ranch, or Ellen's house/shop.

"You came!" said Ellen _as if_ they didn't see each other a minute ago.

"I couldn't stay away," said Dude sarcastically.

"That's my dad," said Ellen, when the shopkeeper came forward.

"Hi, I'm Hank. This here shop sells ingredients such as eggs and milk, and then some. Get a barn or a chicken coop and we'll talk more," said Hank.

"And here's an animal notebook. I wrote it myself," said Ellen.

Dude accepted the notebook. "I'd better go and see who else lives here! Thanks for the notebook."

"Bye!" said Ellen.

"Goodbye," said Hank.


	6. Chapter 6

Oh yes...I'm back! Hope you enjoy...

Chapter Five: Meeting Jamie (s) (?)

Dudette's afternoon:

"Let's see…" said Dudette. She had visited Ellen, much to Ellen's surprise, and received an animal notebook and a pet turtle. Dudette named the turtle Lobster. Dudette also met an old man named Terry, and then she spotted a closed house with a sign that said, "Jamies' ranch. Unauthorized personnel are strongly recommended not to enter"

"I wonder who lives here," said Dudette, disregarding the 'Jamies' ranch' part of the sign.

Dudette jumped over the fence and saw three people there.

_Dude and Dudette's afternoons collide: _

"Hiya, Dudette! Guess what, these people are _fraternal twins_!" said Dude, who had taken off his doctor's coat.

"Dudette?" said one of the people, ears perking up under the hat.

"I've always wanted to meet twins, Dude!" said Dudette.

"Dude?" said the other, ears perking up from underneath the hat.

"Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Dude," said Dude.

"And I'm Dudette!" said Dudette.

"Heh heh…who named you?" asked one of the people.

"Our parents, who else?" asked Dudette.

"She's thick too," said the other person.

"So what are your names?" asked Dude.

"I'm Jamie," said one of them.

"I'm Jamie," said the other.

"They look identical too! Wearing the same clothes, even having the same names…" said Dudette.

"You just noticed?" asked Dude slowly.

Dudette ignored him. "How are we going to tell which Jamie is which?"

"Humph…I'm a girl," said girl Jamie.

"Humph…I'm a boy," said boy Jamie.

"Um…ACK, MY HEAD!" yelled Dudette.

"What, what is it?" asked Dude.

"I can't tell which is which!" yelled Dudette.

"Oh, it's easy…the girl is…well, hotter than the boy," said Dude.

"THEY LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME!" yelled Dudette.

"Hah, get out of my property," said girl Jamie.

"Hah, get out of my property," said boy Jamie.

"THEY'RE MESSING WITH MY HEAD!" yelled Dudette.

Dude sighed. "I'm sorry, Jamies, but Dudette has always been rather slow."

"Hmph, like I can't tell," said girl Jamie.

"She does seem stupid," said boy Jamie.

"Not that we care, but what's with your names?" asked girl Jamie.

"Are you related?" asked boy Jamie.

"No, we're just friends," said Dudette, calming down enough to say that.

"And our parents have issues," said Dude.

"Hah, so do ours," said boy Jamie.

Girl Jamie gasped. "No, our parents were great people! They had kids like us! Don't you dare say anything like that!"

"Hmph, what kind of parents would name us the same exact thing?" asked boy Jamie.

"Just because new farmers came doesn't mean you have to listen to them! What is wrong with you?" asked girl Jamie.

"Excuse me!" said Dudette, raising her hand.

"Yes? What do you want?" barked boy Jamie.

"Could one of you…please, _please_ take off your hat, or maybe your poncho so we'd know the difference between you two?" asked Dudette.

Dude sighed. "But can't you feel it? I can."

"Feel what?" asked Dudette.

"I can feel which one's which. I dunno, I just…can," said Dude.

"I won't take off my hat," said boy Jamie.

"Fine," said Dudette.

"Psst…" said Dude, whispering in Dudette's ear. "The male Jamie has a _slightly_ deeper voice. Very slight. So slight that you might not notice. Listen to them again."

Dudette nodded.

Girl Jamie coughed. "Jamie, you can't listen to them! Our parents were great people, both of them! Don't listen to idiots!"

"Can't you see that they have the same stupid problem as us? All of us had dumb parents who gave us horrible names!" said boy Jamie.

"Hmph, I guess I can't even trust family anymore," said girl Jamie, turning her back on boy Jamie.

"Hah, likewise," said boy Jamie.

"Leave me alone," said girl Jamie.

"Leave _me_ alone," said boy Jamie.

"Um…" said Dudette.

"Why don't we all go to the Harvest goddess spring and talk this out?" asked Dude.

"How did you know there was a harvest goddess spring?" asked girl Jamie suspiciously.

"I guessed. There's one where I'm from too," said Dude.

Girl Jamie's eyes widened. "There's _two_? Hah, I don't care. Yours was a fake. You just want attention from us like the deprived person you are. You're insane."

"No you are," said boy Jamie.

"You're right, Dude. They do sound different," said Dudette after a pause.

Boy Jamie jumped up happily. "We aren't exactly alike!"

"Why are you listening to the idiots?" asked girl Jamie.

"Because they just might be smarter than you, stupid!" said boy Jamie.

"You're the stupid one! We have the same intelligence, stupid!" said girl Jamie.

"I said might, stupid!" said boy Jamie.

"Might can still mean that you think I'm dumber than them, stupid!" said girl Jamie.

"You coming to the Harvest goddess spring or not?" asked Dude.

The Jamies grumbled, but followed Dude and Dudette to the spring.

_Dude and Dudette's Evenings Collide:_

"My word! That's a beautiful statue!" said Dudette. "The same one in my dream!"

"I had a dream too! The harvest goddess turned to stone right?" said Dude.

"Really? All I remember from the dream were the sprites! I thought they were cool…" said Dudette.

"You should've paid attention…" said Dude.

"No you're stupid!" said boy Jamie.

"You're the stupid one!" said girl Jamie.

"I bet you wouldn't even know what the color purple was if it hit you in the face!" said boy Jamie.

"A color can't hit people in the face!" said girl Jamie.

"So? You wouldn't know what it was!" said boy Jamie. "Even if that's your hair color!"

"I'm colorblind, stupid!" said girl Jamie.

"So am I, stupid!" said boy Jamie.

"Stop, stop, Jamies!" said the red sprite.

"_Would you stop calling us in a plural form? I hate being associated with that freak!_" yelled girl Jamie.

"I didn't even know you know what 'associated' meant!" said boy Jamie.

"I'm not as stupid as you, stupid," said girl Jamie.

"Yeah, right. If you weren't as stupid, then you would know that my name is Jamie, and not stupid," said boy Jamie.

"'Yeah, right' is not a correct grammatical sentence, stupid," said girl Jamie.

"It's a phrase, stupid," said boy Jamie.

"Would you stop, Jamies? All of you have to help free the Harvest Goddess," said the yellow sprite.

"Does that include us?" asked Dudette.

"Yes," said the third sprite.

"Darn," said Dude.

"I refuse to share my house with you any longer!" said boy Jamie.

"It's my house, stupid!" said girl Jamie.

"Our parents gave it to me, stupid!" said boy Jamie.

"You don't deserve anything from our parents! You dissed them!" said girl Jamie.

"Dissed isn't a word, stupid!" said boy Jamie.

"It just shows I'm cooler than you with my slang, stupid!" said girl Jamie.

"That didn't even make sense, stupid!" said boy Jamie.

"SHUT UP!" yelled the red sprite.

The Jamies stopped.

"That's better, yeah," said the yellow sprite.

"I'm going to give you a pedometer, yeah," said the third sprite, handing Dudette a pedometer.

"I don't want it," said Dudette, passing it to Dude like it was a disease.

"Neither do I," said Dude, passing it to boy Jamie.

"This is worthy of an idiot like you," said boy Jamie, passing it to girl Jamie.

"Hah, you three are pathetic," said girl Jamie.

"You did _not_ just put me in the same category as them!" exclaimed boy Jamie.

"I _did!_" said girl Jamie defiantly.

"That's it! I'm moving somewhere else!" said boy Jamie.

"Good, because I want _my_ house!" said girl Jamie.

"You can have it, stupid! Our pathetic parents left it for us, so I don't want it," said boy Jamie.

Not to be outdone, girl Jamie said, "Stupid," and took a step away from them. Then she got a note for taking her first step with a pedometer.

"Well," said Dude.

"What are you two looking at? Go on, get!" said boy Jamie angrily.

"There's nothing to do here anyway. See ya!" said Dude, leaving.

"Wait, Jamie…" said Dudette, now certain that this was the boy Jamie.

"What do you want? Go on, spit it out!" said boy Jamie.

"There's one plot of land left. The village one," said Dudette.

Boy Jamie nodded. "I don't need your help. Hah, well do your best. I've been here longer than you."

Dudette grinned. "I really feel like I can relate. I never really liked my name, and you have a problem like mine!"

"I said that a long time ago, idiot," said boy Jamie.

Dudette ignored him. "I'll go tell the mayor right now that you're taking the last bit of land! You can go straight there when you're done thinking things over!"

Dudette ran ahead, while boy Jamie shook his head wonderingly. Then he looked back at the Harvest goddess and laughed at her stone form.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Six: Seeds

Dude's morning:

Dude watched TV and then walked into Woody's Workshop.

"Oh, you must be the second farmer who took up the Exciting Ranch Plan! I'm Woody, head carpenter here. Kurt, Joe!" called Woody.

"Yeah?" asked Kurt.

"What is it, boss?" asked Joe.

"Hi, I'm Dude," said Dude.

"Another one?" groaned Kurt.

"Huh?" asked Dude.

"Kurt, I thought we went over this…" sighed Joe. "That's Dude. It's a name, nothing more."

"I know, I know…I just can't think of it as a name," said Kurt.

"No problem. Take your time," said Dude.

"You're laidback aren't you? I like that in a person!" said Joe. 

"Great…" said Dude. "I'm going now. Bye."

"Bye…" Kurt inhaled deeply. "Dude."

"You did it!" said Joe clapping Kurt on the back.

Kurt exhaled, relieved.

Dude went on to the next order of business—seeds. He went to the Spring farm.

"Welcome, may I take your order?" asked the pink-haired woman behind the counter.

"Oh, are you selling food?" asked Dude, confused.

"No, I just always wanted to say that," said the pink-haired woman, grinning. "I'm Liz, and I sell seeds. Here's a bag of turnips because I'm just nice that way. NINA GET OVER HERE!"

"What, what?" asked her pink-haired daughter, Nina.

"This young man wants a notebook! Give him one like you did for Dudette!" ordered Liz.

"Oh, ok. Here. What's your name?" asked Nina, handing Dude a crop notebook.

"Dude," said Dude. "Nina's a nice name."

"Thanks!" said Nina.

"I better go meet the rest of the people in town! See you later!" said Dude.

"Yeah…" said Nina, who was quite smitten with Dude.

_Dude and Dudette's afternoons collide:_

"DUDE! What are you doing here?" asked Dudette. They were at the town square.

"I was going to go to the tool shop, you?" asked Dude.

"I was going there too! Then I was going to the Doctor's," said Dudette.

"Sounds like a plan!' said Dude.

They both entered the tool shop together, where they met Ann and Michael. Then they went to the clinic.

"Hi, I'm Alex. You two took up the Exciting Ranch Plan right?" asked Alex the doctor.

"You know it!" said Dudette.

"I'm Dude," said Dude.

"Ex…cuse me?" said Alex politely.

"My name…is Dude," said Dude.

"Ah…and the young lady?" asked Alex.

"Dudette," said Dudette.

"You're not…lying are you? Playing a cruel joke maybe?" asked Alex.

"Now why would we do that?" asked Dude.

"Well…I hope you like your names alright," said Alex sympathetically.

"Actually we don't like them all that much…" said Dudette.

"It happens," said Dude sadly.

So then they said their goodbyes to the doctor, and met a guy whose entire life was fishing. That was Ray. The last person they met that day was Maria, the library receptionist.

"Wow, that was a headache," said Dudette.

"You said it. So many people to meet!" said Dude.

"Wonder how Jamie is doing…" said Dudette.

"Male or female?" asked Dude.

"Male," said Dudette. "The girl one has a house."

Dude laughed. "Yeah, that was funny. She kicked him out."

"So I'm off to see the male Jamie! What are you going to do?" asked Dudette.

"Plant these turnips," said Dude.

"I got strawberry seeds," gloated Dudette.

"No fair!" said Dude.

"Tough," said Dudette, going to Jamie's new house.


	8. Chapter 8

I'm going somewhere for a few days, so I thought I'd just post two chapters at once…besides, they're both kinda short…

Also, I thought I'd say that there are a lot of references to Spongebob Squarepants in my story. Hey, maybe I should disclaim that…

Additional Disclaimer: I don't own Spongebob Squarepants. And Plankton is awesome.

Chapter Seven: Boy Jamie's House

Dudette's evening:

Dudette knocked on the door of boy Jamie's house, which was painted from top to bottom in a purple color the same shade as his hair. Dudette wondered how to get her own house painted.

Boy Jamie opened the door. "What do you want?" he asked irritably.

"I wanted to see how you were doing," said Dudette.

"Just fine," said boy Jamie, and prepared to close the door.

"Wait, I want to see your house!" said Dudette darting in.

"Darn, I didn't close it fast enough…" muttered boy Jamie.

"Hm?" asked Dudette.

"Oh, I just said how stupid you are," said boy Jamie.

"Whatever," said Dudette, taking in the house. "You just moved in, so I'm going to help you arrange all your furniture!"

"Hmm…" said Jamie. "Okay. Grab that sofa. Move it to the right. More, more. All the way to the back. To the left some. That's good…a little more…to the front a bit…"

Jamie stopped when the sofa was in the exact place it was before. Then he ordered Dudette to move everything else around and did absolutely nothing himself.

Dudette huffed when she was finally done. "Okay…anything else…?"

"Yeah, how about making us some dinner? Kitchen's that way," said boy Jamie.

Dudette nodded without even realizing that she was being used. She quickly prepared dinner while boy Jamie relaxed on the sofa and flipped through channels.

"Dinner's ready!" she finally called out, and set the table.

Boy Jamie sampled her cooking and made as many insults as possible between each bite. Dudette ignored them and ate her own dinner, marveling at the paintings that boy Jamie had up on the wall.

After dinner, boy Jamie said, "Leave me alone," and that was that. Dudette was kicked out.


End file.
